what? Why did I say that ! as soon as it left your mouth?
Well that was me this weekend. Without a drink I foolishly told my boyfriend of two years ( is boyfriend the right word that I can use when we are in our forties?) how much I weigh!!!
What the the hell was I thinking!!!
I have NEVER told anyone how much I weighed. Not the ex husband, my friends, mum, children, no one!
So why the god damnit did I tell him! It’s embarrassing that I weigh more than him, plus to top it off all his ex’s were size 8/10 and non of whom had had children, so here I am the biggest woman he has ever dated plus to top it off I have had three kids. And for those without 3 children let me tell you the more you have the worse your body goes (Unless you are lucky-me I can honestly say I wasn’t) Everything has gone south. My stomach goes down and out, and my once large voluptuous breasts can keep my arms warm when I’m laying in bed. Turning over at night has to be a carefully planned process.
Yes, everything has gone to shit!
So without any vodka and my thoughts process being clouded by alcohol I just came out with it… and instantly regretted it. So basically I’m bloody stupid. I couldn’t believe what I said, I was dumb struck with what I had just told him, there he was talking away and my mind was just going into overdrive. I wasn’t listening to anything he was saying. His mouth was moving and I just smiled at him but I was basically shouting at myself in my head. I felt a bit sick and just wanted to climb into bed and forget what I had told him. Great going Bev!
A day later I’m still pissed off with myself but I am going to come clean with everyone. It’s a number. It doesn’t define who I am as a person, albeit it does define my size.
So at my last weigh in, I was a grand weight of 14 stones 10lbs ( or 206lbs or 93kg)
what would I love to weigh? I’m aiming for 11 stones, I can not remember a time I weighed that much. At 16 I was 12 1/2 stone so for me 11 is where I want to be. Hopefully this year, but it’s looking loose I’m going the slow road.
At least it’s out in the open now. No more kidding myself no then!!